Handling a relationship is just like handling any other skill, you can learn it to get better at it. Some people fail in a relationship because they don’t learn the right way to cultivate and grow their relationship. On the other hand, individuals who understand how it works get better at it and make every day a love day. They end up having long lasting relationships.
Thus, if you want to learn to manage and grow your relationship, you can do so by studying and learning the timeless principles from people who have made it. Here are the seven secrets to long lasting relationships that you need to know:
1. No One Is Perfect
First, you have to understand that no one is perfect. One of the main reasons most relationship fails because one expects the other to be perfect, to be someone who understands it all.
We are humans and every human being will make mistakes. When your partner makes a mistake, understand that he or she is not perfect and that is why you should be there for him or her.
The same happens when it comes to emotion. Human tends to be emotional. When you argue with your partner and the emotion gets tense, this is very normal and you need to understand your partner’s point of view. Your job is to understand your partner and not to win the argument.
So don’t expect anyone to be perfect. Someone you love may not fully understand your needs or your situation, but this does not mean that he or she does not love you.
2. Don’t Try To Change Someone
Do you know that you cannot change people? The only person who can make the change happen is none other than that person himself or herself.
A lot of couples who are in relationships always try to change each other. They want their partner to be a non-smoker, they want their partner to be more caring, they want their partner to understand their core value, they want their partner to do this or that, etc.
However, change can only happen when your partner wants to change. There are only two things you can do. You can either show your partner your love and influence him, or you will just have to accept the way it is.
Instead of asking your partner to change, just do your part and let your initiatives influence him or her for change. Just like if you are doing a part-time online business and your partner does not support you, you don’t have to change his or her view about it.
All you have to do is to do your part and build success from your business. Let your results, determination and confidence influence your partner.
So remember, you cannot change someone. You can only influence him or her.
3. Your Words Are Important
Do you know that the words you use in your daily conversation are important? No matter it is with your colleagues, your friends or your lovers, the words you use will greatly influence your relationship with them.
Do you know that couples who go through longer lasting relationship use the word “we” more often than “I”?
One of the secrets to long lasting relationships is not to use abusive words in your conversation with the one you love. Sometimes when you are in an argument, you use words that may hurt your partner because you are emotional at that moment.
Once the argument is over, the hurtful feelings from unnecessary words can still be there. And whenever another argument comes up, so do the hurtful feelings. The words will become like a time-bomb waiting to explode.
Therefore, watch your words and never say something that will tarnish and deteriorate your relationship.
4. Inject Freshness
If you want to build a healthy relationship with anyone, and not just your lover, you need to invest your time and put effort into it.
You have to inject freshness into the relationship from time to time. For instance, you can go dating and try out a new restaurant in town each week. Travel overseas with your partner at least once a year. Give him or her some surprises and make the relationship “fresh.”
Research has shown that couples who often make their relationship lively are those that will enjoy a longer-lasting relationship.
Hence, invest your time to grow your relationship with the people you care about. Bring your partner out for dating each week, buy a surprise gift from time to time and make sure to travel together more often.
5. Never Underestimate Your Physical Attraction
Yes, you should never underestimate what your physical attraction can do in strengthening your relationship with your lover.
Most people don’t put in much attention into their physical attraction after they got married because they started to take things for granted. It doesn’t mean that you have to wear like a Hollywood star or go for plastic surgery, but maintaining your physical attraction is one of the keys that keep your partner attracted to you.
All you need to do is to maintain it. Wear proper clothes and never take things for granted.
6. Long Lasting Relationships: Sharing Is Caring
Sometimes, you just need to share and tell what you have in your heart so that your soulmate can understand you better.
If you always keep things to yourself, what is the point of getting yourself into a relationship? Being together means going through life together. Enjoying each moment, having fun and going through hardships together can strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Sharing can be anything, such as sharing household chores, watching movies, and more importantly, share the feelings you have for each other. In fact, many studies have shown that couples who share household chores enjoy a loving and lasting relationship.
7. You Don’t Always Have To Be Right
When you are in a relationship, you don’t always have to be right. Sometimes, when you are in an argument, you may want to let your partner has it. You can be right and win the argument, or you can let your partner has it and win your relationship, which would you prefer?
After all, you have to choose whether winning the argument is more important or winning your relationship is more worthy.
Just like while you are driving and suddenly a dog runs into the road, you will brake and stop the car to avoid hitting the dog. Why do you stop? You know that it is not your fault even if you run over the dog, but most people choose to stop. This is because even though it is not your fault if you run over the dog, but you decide not to do it.
The same goes in your relationship. You may be right, but sometimes, you want to just let your partner has it his or her way because you treasure your relationship more than winning the absurd argument.
Now you know the secrets to long lasting relationships. What you need to do is to follow these principles and apply them to your relationships.
Remember, your partner is not perfect and you don’t have to change him or her. Watch your words and try to inject freshness into your relationship at least once a week. Maintain your physical attraction and share the critical moments with each other. Finally, choose your relationship over the pride that you want to be right.